I finished MICU in June with no further difficulties. Had a relatively laid-back time and found after the Dublin ordeal, I was able to have much more collected thoughts and I'm glad I went for that sense of closure. Unfortunately, I had a case that I'll remember for the rest of my life where one of my patients, a young lady, died from the dreaded Swine Flu (she was immunocompromised as she had just delivered a baby). She developed ARDS, pneumomediastinum requiring bilateral chest tube placement, we placed her on a rotaprone bed with nitrous oxide therapy and at one point were considering ECMO. But it became more and more futile, which was of course very hard for the family to accept. And one of my nights on call, she became very bradycardic which we managed to resus for a few hours, before she coded. I had to call all the family to tell them to rush in, and try to get it into their heads that there was not going to be a miracle, and ask them to let her go peacefully. It was absolutely heart-wrenching, but interesting from a personal standpoint how to think of ways to get them to understand that we had done everything and have the mother sign the DNR. I think eventually what made them understand was that I explained we were not treating her, but treating numbers. I nearly cried at several points, but people seemed to think I was being very strong. But I was also really angry that I was the INTERN who should NOT have the responsibility of doing this. It should have been the senior residents. But, c'est la vie.
This last month was my trauma month in Harlem. I think it was a pretty good month for me, I don't know what I've missed because I didn't get any TICU exposure, but I got a couple chest tubes and some intubations, so I'm happy. Hopefully I'll get more when I go back for my regular ER month in April. I enjoyed it, which I'm pleased about because it's been awhile since I've really enjoyed my ER job. I was worried (and still am) that I have made the wrong career choice, and I still do feel to some degree that I've reached this goal and now I'm bored of it and want something else. But I think maybe as an attending, perhaps I'll be able to do my clinical shifts and who knows, make some money doing something completely different (ie. more creative)? We'll see. I don't think I want to do more than 14-16 shifts a month, but what made it better was that people seemed to value my work at Harlem (patients and attendings alike) and that sense of reward is satisfying. I'm just wary that I fell into this job because I happen to be good at it, not because I have a passion for it.
Summer has really not been summer yet, there have been a couple hot days but many more cold very thundery drizzly days. But I managed to catch a great warm weekend and spent it learning how to sail. The doing is not as difficult as figuring out where your point of sail is, and in that I need much more practice. If it wasn't so expensive I'd be continuing it a bit more this summer, but I need to save more and maybe I'll sign up for the dinghy class later. It was liberating though, although I probably enjoy rowing more. Cycling there gave me a chance to explore a new bike path adjacent to the hudson river though, which was pretty awesome.
I also recently went on my first "date" via match.com, which finally paired me with an attractive intelligent guy instead of a definitely-not-my-type 60 year old....we went the Coffee shop in union square and it was absolutely downpouring. He seems quite interesting, so we'll see where it goes !
Saturday, August 01, 2009
Argh.
Well, I typed out a description of the rest of the services and my impromptu trip to Ireland, but something in blogspot messed up and I lost the post. I don't have the energy to retype it. Maybe I will later. Suffice it to say that two months after the incident, words still fail to describe all the emotions and details.
Continued
Oh, here it is.
I don't really feel like writing down every last detail, but I'll remember June 1st 2009 for the rest of my life.
The Butler's reception afterwards was simply amazing, and extremely detailed to dot what would have been Aisling's last I's. The next day in Dublin, it was the Trinity service. Many of us in the class met in the Pav together so we could go en masse to the Chapel, and again it was nice to have strength in numbers. The music I thought was quite somber, so it was very emotional. But Gra and Fergal gave fantastic speeches about the girls, there were professors there that we had not seen for awhile, and representatives of Air France, Brazil and France, and the President of Ireland were there. There was a nice reception in the Dining Hall afterwards, then headed to the Bailey for a commemorative drink for the girls, then the Deasy's had an absolutely lovely reception at their house afterwards as well. I mean, this was just so heartening to see people pulled together. At the Deasy's, a lot of the professors were there and it was nice catching up as well.
Had a couple days respite and just got to hang out with my rowing friends for a few days, which was really nice. I'm really glad I have friends outside of medicine to connect me to my second home. But being back made me really wish I had never left, and although I will never want to work for the HSE again, I loved living in Europe.
That Sunday was Eithne's service in Belfast, and at the reception afterwards there was a really lovely slideshow of photos.
That's all I'll say about that now. It's been two months since it happened, and words still fail to describe all the emotions and details. I'm not a very good descriptive writer, though. The only good thing to come out of this trip besides being with everyone again was a terrific amount of drinking. Peter and I went to a lovely tapas bar on the Friday night (very late as he got out of work late) and drank a hell of a lot of wine and cocktails. Then saturday night, I took him to this really fancy extraordinarily expensive dinner at Shanahans on Stephens Green where the decor is absolutely amazing.
I don't really feel like writing down every last detail, but I'll remember June 1st 2009 for the rest of my life.
The Butler's reception afterwards was simply amazing, and extremely detailed to dot what would have been Aisling's last I's. The next day in Dublin, it was the Trinity service. Many of us in the class met in the Pav together so we could go en masse to the Chapel, and again it was nice to have strength in numbers. The music I thought was quite somber, so it was very emotional. But Gra and Fergal gave fantastic speeches about the girls, there were professors there that we had not seen for awhile, and representatives of Air France, Brazil and France, and the President of Ireland were there. There was a nice reception in the Dining Hall afterwards, then headed to the Bailey for a commemorative drink for the girls, then the Deasy's had an absolutely lovely reception at their house afterwards as well. I mean, this was just so heartening to see people pulled together. At the Deasy's, a lot of the professors were there and it was nice catching up as well.
Had a couple days respite and just got to hang out with my rowing friends for a few days, which was really nice. I'm really glad I have friends outside of medicine to connect me to my second home. But being back made me really wish I had never left, and although I will never want to work for the HSE again, I loved living in Europe.
That Sunday was Eithne's service in Belfast, and at the reception afterwards there was a really lovely slideshow of photos.
That's all I'll say about that now. It's been two months since it happened, and words still fail to describe all the emotions and details. I'm not a very good descriptive writer, though. The only good thing to come out of this trip besides being with everyone again was a terrific amount of drinking. Peter and I went to a lovely tapas bar on the Friday night (very late as he got out of work late) and drank a hell of a lot of wine and cocktails. Then saturday night, I took him to this really fancy extraordinarily expensive dinner at Shanahans on Stephens Green where the decor is absolutely amazing.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
A difficult month...
In Pace Requiescat - Dr. Aisling Butler, Dr. Jane Deasy, Dr. Eithne Walls - June 1, 2009.
The passing of these three beloved friends and classmates is still a shock to us, and the last two weeks have been very trying, exhausting and emotional. If we felt this way, I cannot imagine what their families are going through. Especially as there's still no clear idea what happened to the Air France plane, all the hurt and anger about the airline knowing about faulty parts, and there's no clear idea where their bodies / belongings are. All we can do is draw strength from continuing to remembering their bright, lively and fun-loving personalities, their ambition and optimism.
I was told about this by one of my best Irish friends / classmates before it broke in the news, and I immediately told the rest of the Americans in our class. The girls were on their way to Paris, where Et's boyfriend (someone I'd known casually before they started being a couple) was waiting at the airport. No names were released or confirmed until June 2nd, and waking up to find their photos plastered all over the papers, internet, CNN was difficult. But as soon as it was confirmed, we knew we had to be in Dublin to support others in our class, mourn with each other and pay respects to their families. And in remembering them, it would let us gain strength and have some closure regarding this terrible loss.
I'm doing MICU at one of our peripheral hospitals, and fortunately not on a very busy service. My program director was very understanding and likened this situation to 911, not at the scale of it, but because of all the uncertainty and suddenness of the situation. She immediately put in a call to the program director at the other hospital, who was very good about granting me time off to go back. I tried not to be too emotional at work, but I was not able to focus and what's worse, did not care at all about my patients (that has never happened to me before). I was on the phone 24/7 to friends overseas (phone bill is going to be exorbitant), not eating and definitely not sleeping. We tried, but it was impossible to avoid - thinking of what their final moments must have been like as a plane literally breaks apart in front of you. Although knowing the girls, they probably took some zopiclone and had a few drinks so were probably sleeping. And it was comforting to know that they were seated together.
The rest of the residents on my rotation sympathized, but I don't think some of them understood at all (although they hardly knew me). They were more concerned that my leaving increased their call time and their work load. To which I say, whatever. In times like those, work is completely trivial, but medicine is one of the most unforgiving professions. Doctors are never "allowed" to be sick, doctors are never treated like normal humans, doctors are not "allowed" to have outside issues (kids sick, housing closures, even doctor's appointments, etc etc etc). But another thing that may be difficult for them to understand, and something that I loved about my training overseas which seems to be missing in the US, is that as a class we grow up together. As a class, we are very close. Medical school is demanding everywhere, but in the UK system the oral examinations are much more intense and the classes are together for longer. It's like a family and although you have your injurious spats and there's hurt and betrayal, what's done to one spurs emotion in all. Even though we're thousands of miles apart now, we still need and draw strength from each other, and will probably continue to do so for the rest of our lives.
So the few of us Americans who were able booked rush flights to make it to Dublin for services which were held for the girls. I think all of us were a little bit wary of flying as we were still empathizing, but a beer (some ambien would have been nice) calmed me down. One of my best rowing friends (not in my class but also now a doctor and a world-class athlete) picked me up, and after a nap we went into town to meet another of my rowing friends (the three musketeers reunited) for lunch in Avoca and it was fantastic catching up. Then went into College (Trinity) to meet a sports admin friend for coffee, back to Kilmainham for a rowing meeting (!) which lasted for ages. Finally, I got to meet up with one of my best friends from my class (Peter), and he and I proceeded to have a fantastic French dinner by Dublin castle (where they wouldn't give us a second bottle of wine) and proceeded to get very very drunk at The Bank bar in town. Had a fantastic night, I don't think I've ever had such a cathartic drinking session!
The next day, we Three Musketeers had brunch in the tea rooms in Phoenix Park, then legged it over to Peter's with my stuff, changed into my dress (amazed I remembered to bring everything to look presentable) and then met two others in my class so we could drive down to Roscrea in Co. Tipperary for Aisling's service. Beforehand, we met up with the others in my class at a hotel near to the church, and seeing them all for the first time in a long time was brilliant. Obviously everyone was quite sad and emotional, but the one good thing is that it reunited us all and allowed us to feel that connection with each other again. We walked over to the church and it was very moving to see it completely fill, spilling out the sides with her friends and communities. The newspaper the next day said about a thousand people were there. The service was beautiful. what touches me most about services is the music, and the music was absolutely gorgeous, not too somber but very tasteful, and the soloist(s) were fantastic.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Spring!
I'm really happy it's starting to get a bit warmer and the days are longer. Have been really good about getting to the gym and doing some weights / running, even though I'm half-commuting to Westchester for my ER rotation (which is fantastic). The teaching is great, procedures are great...too bad we can't have an environment like this at my home hospital. I'd love working at a place like that. In the last two weeks I've gotten to do a very clean lumbar puncture (brilliant, took me all of 5 minutes, they never go like that for me!), a shoulder reduction with arthrocentesis, seen two chest tube placements. That's pretty awesome.
Have continued my theater splurge and since seen 33 Variations (with Jane Fonda), which is absolutely brilliant. So ingenious, it amazes me how Kaufman can have the clarity to think like that, make connections between a speculation on why Beethoven wrote his 33 Variations and the modern-day life of his musicologist, and life in general. I might have to see it again, or get the script for it. I love really intelligent plays like that. I've also seen the new musical "Next to Normal," which is creative but I can't really understand why everyone is raving about it. I don't really like the music in these new musicals. Bar one, "Invisible Girl and Super boy," I don't really like the music although some of the lyrics are kind of funny. Same as in Wicked, I don't really like the music except "Defying Gravity." Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but bring back the Gershwin / Hammerstein music. At least Sondheim's music makes sense, he's probably the only contemporary composer who makes good musical music.
This Wednesday I'm going on my first eharmony match date. Still a little wary of meeting someone off a dating website, but seeing as how it's nearly impossible to meet anyone when you're working, and that people don't approach each other in gyms and whatnot like they do in movies (never mind the fact that I still tower over all the boys in the gym) that's the only way to go. So dinner and then seeing Waiting for Godot with Nathan Lane...that alone should guarantee a good night!
I'm glad I'm in WMC ER right now with such a good experience so far. It reaffirms my part-desire to be a doctor and help people, and when I'm at work I enjoy it. I still know that being a doctor isn't the only thing that I want to have happen in my life and I'm still going to explore other options, but now I'm not as depressed as I was a couple weeks ago and it's a good job to be a "baseline" job. I still need to work a lot and study, but still having time for a theatre habit so that's not too bad! And I'm starting to work at creative endeavors with writing ideas and buying a guitar off amazon ;). We'll see if it can get me more content!
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
More fun in the big city!
Man, my vacation was hectic and went way too fast :)!
Spent the first week of it in our condo in Vegas, where we had a family reunion with my grandmother and my sis (wooo!). Didn't really do much except eat, took a load of silly photos at the Valley of Fire park and flower shows in Bellagio. Only walked 1/2 of the strip once, because a day got wasted by sis getting sick >:(. And of course, buffet in Paris where I managed not to eat the whole dessert area like I did last time.
After leaving Vegas (having to get up at 3 am for the flight) and landing in NYC many hours later, saw an Ionesco play called Exit the King on Broadway (with Susan Sarandon, Geoffrey Rush, Lauren Ambrose) which was possibly not the best choice to end a long day. Not only was it dark and slightly depressing although there were a few funny bits in the first half, the second half was full of dragging monologues and esoteric dialogue which put everyone to sleep. We were in the 4th row from stage and in front of us this lady started snoring, and her friend with her gave her a huge elbow nudge, to which the sleeping lady jumped a foot in her chair and everyone behind her started snickering right in the middle of this death epiphany by Geoffrey Rush. Man, that was a head-banger.
Then Saturday we saw Blithe Spirit (Rupert everett, Angela Lansbury) and it was fantastic. The whole play is so witty and funny and Lansbury yet again is great at playing eccentric characters. Ate at Sardi's which was lovely and atmosphere is fantastic with all those actors' caricatures. Then we saw the Ibsen play, Hedda Gabler (Mary Louise Parker), and I wish we'd reversed the order of seeing these two because while well-performed, it was quite dark and bleek. I'll also try to avoid the American Airlines theater (roundtree) in the future because if you sit on the right side, it's adjacent to some alleyway in times square and you can hear all the immature teenage passerbys and lorries honking horns.
Sunday, we spent basically the whole day shopping at Woodbury Commons. Obviously spent loads of money and were wrecked by the end of it! We'd been up til 4 am the night before as we couldn't sleep, but somehow we managed to plod through the piles of clothes and Coach bags!
Monday, my friend from Ireland came and so we had a nice easy day of it, met up with a couple friends at my local bar and we managed to seriously bore my sis and my friend with all the medicine talk. I really need to find more non-medical friends!
Tuesday was the museum day and we raced through the Guggenheim, Metropolitan and Natural History museums. Man, that was a whirlwind and I won't be back to those for awhile! Think i might buy membership to the Met museum and just sit in the conservatory to read. Then Bubba Gumps for dinner in Times Square, which was a lot of fun and loads of silly pictures ;).
Wednesday we saw West Side Story on Broadway, which was good. This production is different because they've sung some of the songs in Spanish. I think that concept is interesting, but at the same time, I didn't like spending 120 dollars on tickets to not understand what they were saying. The lead guy of the jets started the opening song off key though he corrected himself. And the men weren't quite macho enough, in my opinion - i mean, i know west side story has some ballet style dance in it, but perhaps a little too effeminate casting. Good singing from the leads though.
That night, we went to the Knicks game, which was really exciting in the end even though now I can't remember who won...I think the Knicks did. They came out really strongly, but then let it go in the 2nd quarter and had to play catch up. My friend caught one of those tshirts that they shoot into the crowd, heh!
Thursday we drove to the Bronx Botanical Gardens which was nice (my Irish mate is into botany and all) and took silly photos of cacti and orchids. Had a nice chat before driving her to the airport. And then on the way back from JFK, got completely lost (in the dark) with my sis needing to pee really badly. Finally got the GPS working (woo for GPS!) and made it back before she had an "accident" in the car.
Friday we got TKTS to see 39 steps, which was hilarious. Very creative as 4 people play multiple parts. I love the theater!
Saturday, woke up early to stand in the TKTS line again hoping to see In the Heights (but it wasn't out yet) and then we met up with a couple high school friends (awesome!) for brunch in Greenwich. It's always nice catching up. Saw Reasons to be Pretty (Piper Perabo, Steven Pasquale even though neither of those two are the lead characters) which was interesting as you watched how a minor comment spirals into a huge life event, and was mildly amusing. A little too much cursing for me though. Then, my sis was curious about August: Osage county so we went back to the TKTS line and got tickets, and it was brilliant. Very funny watching this dysfunctional but normal ? family with most social taboos worked in! we were way up in the mezzanine though, so some parts were a little hard to hear. I'm just making notes for myself for other performances i try to see in the same theaters. I definitely have become a very avid theater-goer!
Then after getting very little sleep, Viv left for LaGuardia at like 5 am . :( . Damn, I wish we were at the stage in our lives where we could get the big house / apartment together like we always planned. We've been apart for nearly 8 years now after spending every single day together and I thought I'd welcome the change (and I have to some degree), but now I at least want her around to do stuff with, since my social network is still in Ireland .
Then this past Tuesday, I took myself to see the new Durang play (Why torture is wrong) mainly because I wanted to see Laura Benanti act again (I saw her in Gypsy). It was definitely interesting, made a few funny jabs, and the actress who plays the mother is hilarious! I think some roles had a little overacting going on, but I just find there's something very engaging about Ms. Benanti that's captivating. I spent the rest of the vacation downloading and watching episodes of True Blood, I'm not really certain why!
I've been feeling pretty down lately, which is something new for me. I've never felt this way before, and it's not pleasant, especially when I'm supposed to be on vacation relaxing! Maybe it's because my twin left. I just feel like there's something really missing in my life, I'm not enjoying my work and it's not exciting me to go into work. I like the idea of being a doctor, and I like acquiring the skills. But it's not a culmination for me, I don't feel like I have achieved anything. It's funny how people measure success as they grow older. Some would think I've done a lot and am a very successful individual at this age, and I thought I would feel that way too. But I don't...I want something more and I'm not sure what that something is.
Maybe it's the fact that to get to this point, I was involved in so many things and now those have just been cut out due to work committments, and I don't like my life just being medicine. I'd love to get into more creative endeavors, I think at the very least I'll start a little writing again (even though my thoughts are so jumbled I feel I don't know where to begin). But right now I'm questioning my life / career choice, and if I had to opt differently, I wonder what it would have been like to pursue one of the possibilities I was thinking of when I was 18 to be a musician / performing artist, although that would have been the less stable route. Although if I didn't do medicine, I never would have gone overseas to Trinity and met my wonderful friends there. Maybe I have too many unrealistic ambitions, but I still feel like a young kid who wants to get out there and do everything and make a mark in the world!
Spent the first week of it in our condo in Vegas, where we had a family reunion with my grandmother and my sis (wooo!). Didn't really do much except eat, took a load of silly photos at the Valley of Fire park and flower shows in Bellagio. Only walked 1/2 of the strip once, because a day got wasted by sis getting sick >:(. And of course, buffet in Paris where I managed not to eat the whole dessert area like I did last time.
After leaving Vegas (having to get up at 3 am for the flight) and landing in NYC many hours later, saw an Ionesco play called Exit the King on Broadway (with Susan Sarandon, Geoffrey Rush, Lauren Ambrose) which was possibly not the best choice to end a long day. Not only was it dark and slightly depressing although there were a few funny bits in the first half, the second half was full of dragging monologues and esoteric dialogue which put everyone to sleep. We were in the 4th row from stage and in front of us this lady started snoring, and her friend with her gave her a huge elbow nudge, to which the sleeping lady jumped a foot in her chair and everyone behind her started snickering right in the middle of this death epiphany by Geoffrey Rush. Man, that was a head-banger.
Then Saturday we saw Blithe Spirit (Rupert everett, Angela Lansbury) and it was fantastic. The whole play is so witty and funny and Lansbury yet again is great at playing eccentric characters. Ate at Sardi's which was lovely and atmosphere is fantastic with all those actors' caricatures. Then we saw the Ibsen play, Hedda Gabler (Mary Louise Parker), and I wish we'd reversed the order of seeing these two because while well-performed, it was quite dark and bleek. I'll also try to avoid the American Airlines theater (roundtree) in the future because if you sit on the right side, it's adjacent to some alleyway in times square and you can hear all the immature teenage passerbys and lorries honking horns.
Sunday, we spent basically the whole day shopping at Woodbury Commons. Obviously spent loads of money and were wrecked by the end of it! We'd been up til 4 am the night before as we couldn't sleep, but somehow we managed to plod through the piles of clothes and Coach bags!
Monday, my friend from Ireland came and so we had a nice easy day of it, met up with a couple friends at my local bar and we managed to seriously bore my sis and my friend with all the medicine talk. I really need to find more non-medical friends!
Tuesday was the museum day and we raced through the Guggenheim, Metropolitan and Natural History museums. Man, that was a whirlwind and I won't be back to those for awhile! Think i might buy membership to the Met museum and just sit in the conservatory to read. Then Bubba Gumps for dinner in Times Square, which was a lot of fun and loads of silly pictures ;).
Wednesday we saw West Side Story on Broadway, which was good. This production is different because they've sung some of the songs in Spanish. I think that concept is interesting, but at the same time, I didn't like spending 120 dollars on tickets to not understand what they were saying. The lead guy of the jets started the opening song off key though he corrected himself. And the men weren't quite macho enough, in my opinion - i mean, i know west side story has some ballet style dance in it, but perhaps a little too effeminate casting. Good singing from the leads though.
That night, we went to the Knicks game, which was really exciting in the end even though now I can't remember who won...I think the Knicks did. They came out really strongly, but then let it go in the 2nd quarter and had to play catch up. My friend caught one of those tshirts that they shoot into the crowd, heh!
Thursday we drove to the Bronx Botanical Gardens which was nice (my Irish mate is into botany and all) and took silly photos of cacti and orchids. Had a nice chat before driving her to the airport. And then on the way back from JFK, got completely lost (in the dark) with my sis needing to pee really badly. Finally got the GPS working (woo for GPS!) and made it back before she had an "accident" in the car.
Friday we got TKTS to see 39 steps, which was hilarious. Very creative as 4 people play multiple parts. I love the theater!
Saturday, woke up early to stand in the TKTS line again hoping to see In the Heights (but it wasn't out yet) and then we met up with a couple high school friends (awesome!) for brunch in Greenwich. It's always nice catching up. Saw Reasons to be Pretty (Piper Perabo, Steven Pasquale even though neither of those two are the lead characters) which was interesting as you watched how a minor comment spirals into a huge life event, and was mildly amusing. A little too much cursing for me though. Then, my sis was curious about August: Osage county so we went back to the TKTS line and got tickets, and it was brilliant. Very funny watching this dysfunctional but normal ? family with most social taboos worked in! we were way up in the mezzanine though, so some parts were a little hard to hear. I'm just making notes for myself for other performances i try to see in the same theaters. I definitely have become a very avid theater-goer!
Then after getting very little sleep, Viv left for LaGuardia at like 5 am . :( . Damn, I wish we were at the stage in our lives where we could get the big house / apartment together like we always planned. We've been apart for nearly 8 years now after spending every single day together and I thought I'd welcome the change (and I have to some degree), but now I at least want her around to do stuff with, since my social network is still in Ireland .
Then this past Tuesday, I took myself to see the new Durang play (Why torture is wrong) mainly because I wanted to see Laura Benanti act again (I saw her in Gypsy). It was definitely interesting, made a few funny jabs, and the actress who plays the mother is hilarious! I think some roles had a little overacting going on, but I just find there's something very engaging about Ms. Benanti that's captivating. I spent the rest of the vacation downloading and watching episodes of True Blood, I'm not really certain why!
I've been feeling pretty down lately, which is something new for me. I've never felt this way before, and it's not pleasant, especially when I'm supposed to be on vacation relaxing! Maybe it's because my twin left. I just feel like there's something really missing in my life, I'm not enjoying my work and it's not exciting me to go into work. I like the idea of being a doctor, and I like acquiring the skills. But it's not a culmination for me, I don't feel like I have achieved anything. It's funny how people measure success as they grow older. Some would think I've done a lot and am a very successful individual at this age, and I thought I would feel that way too. But I don't...I want something more and I'm not sure what that something is.
Maybe it's the fact that to get to this point, I was involved in so many things and now those have just been cut out due to work committments, and I don't like my life just being medicine. I'd love to get into more creative endeavors, I think at the very least I'll start a little writing again (even though my thoughts are so jumbled I feel I don't know where to begin). But right now I'm questioning my life / career choice, and if I had to opt differently, I wonder what it would have been like to pursue one of the possibilities I was thinking of when I was 18 to be a musician / performing artist, although that would have been the less stable route. Although if I didn't do medicine, I never would have gone overseas to Trinity and met my wonderful friends there. Maybe I have too many unrealistic ambitions, but I still feel like a young kid who wants to get out there and do everything and make a mark in the world!
Friday, March 20, 2009
Vegas!!
Have done quite a bit of nothing (besides work) these last couple weeks, and now am just finishing a couple days in Vegas, where we're having a family reunion at the condo. It's been really nice, gorgeous weather in the 80s and I love the sun! I'd love moving here except for the lack of water. We spent several hours at the Valley of Fire state park which had gorgeous red rock and stone formations. We missed seeing petroglyphs because my parents/grandmother weren't keen on hiking to those spots, but we amused ourselves by taking silly photos anyway! Who else can I take silly photos with except my twin :) :) ?
Then Wednesday we took some photos in a lovely flower exhibit at the Bellagio (more silly photos), they're always very creative in making their displays. We wandered around the strip more but only got halfway. Did some fake sword-fighting in Excalibur and rode the hideously expensive New York New York roller coaster where we had to wait for front row seats, of course. Fun enough and scenery is cool, but the pictures they take are kinda crappy and don't even include the taxi-cab-looking cars. Then spent hours in M&M world and coke world so Viv could find gifts for friends. Coke world have made these cool shirts which smell like their products, but they're too sweet-smelling and would definitely attract all sorts of interesting bugs in the summer. Good thing we think practically cuz otherwise I'd buy everything under the sun! Then had dinner at Rainforest cafe which is always a blast. I think Viv ate something bad though cuz she spent all last night and today running for the porcelain god....
...which sucked because we were hoping to go back to the Strip and finish off the rest of the half (I love Caesars Palace), but it wasn't to be. She's feeling a little bit better now, but my family ignored my doctory advice and tried pushing some herbal medications which I've never heard of before.
Anyway, to Manhattan tomorrow so I can show my sis and friends the dazzle of NYC!
I think I'm becoming more financially educated, having done my taxes (and paid HR Block an enormous sum to do it for me and fix my errors), and looking up all these Roth IRA companies online, and trying to come to grips with the funds in my 403(b) / TDA. I should take a class one day. But I think anyone who is or will be a resident should try to max out their Roth IRA each year of their residency before we become ineligible when earning an attending salary. I only have 3 years to do that unless I do a fellowship. So word to those who know nothing like me: INVEST IN A ROTH IRA NOW! The market is falling so your money will buy you more shares which will compound more interest when they start rising again.
Then Wednesday we took some photos in a lovely flower exhibit at the Bellagio (more silly photos), they're always very creative in making their displays. We wandered around the strip more but only got halfway. Did some fake sword-fighting in Excalibur and rode the hideously expensive New York New York roller coaster where we had to wait for front row seats, of course. Fun enough and scenery is cool, but the pictures they take are kinda crappy and don't even include the taxi-cab-looking cars. Then spent hours in M&M world and coke world so Viv could find gifts for friends. Coke world have made these cool shirts which smell like their products, but they're too sweet-smelling and would definitely attract all sorts of interesting bugs in the summer. Good thing we think practically cuz otherwise I'd buy everything under the sun! Then had dinner at Rainforest cafe which is always a blast. I think Viv ate something bad though cuz she spent all last night and today running for the porcelain god....
...which sucked because we were hoping to go back to the Strip and finish off the rest of the half (I love Caesars Palace), but it wasn't to be. She's feeling a little bit better now, but my family ignored my doctory advice and tried pushing some herbal medications which I've never heard of before.
Anyway, to Manhattan tomorrow so I can show my sis and friends the dazzle of NYC!
I think I'm becoming more financially educated, having done my taxes (and paid HR Block an enormous sum to do it for me and fix my errors), and looking up all these Roth IRA companies online, and trying to come to grips with the funds in my 403(b) / TDA. I should take a class one day. But I think anyone who is or will be a resident should try to max out their Roth IRA each year of their residency before we become ineligible when earning an attending salary. I only have 3 years to do that unless I do a fellowship. So word to those who know nothing like me: INVEST IN A ROTH IRA NOW! The market is falling so your money will buy you more shares which will compound more interest when they start rising again.
Monday, March 02, 2009
Well, last month was busy! Everyone was just so tired. You have to cram nearly the same amount of shifts (one shift less) into a short month. A bit insane, even though you can get more coverage during a day. I came in on a week of nights and was hit with a thoracotomy (I came too late so couldn't get into the action) and we spent the whole night trying to recover from it although it was cool seeing it. A GSW that transected the descending aorta unfortunately. The third year resident was too busy doing paperwork for the police so I ended up taking all the sign outs. I don't really know if a first year has done that before at my program. It was tough following everything and trying to deal with incomplete signouts, and meanwhile the chart rack remains overflowing. But no matter how bad a shift seems, I've learned it doesn't kill you and you survive.
Then we had our inservice. Have to say didn't study for it as much as I wanted to, but we'll see. .. 1st years generally don't pass, but the questions seemed manageable. Had a nice post inservice party! It's so nice when nearly all the residents and some attendings can be together. And we learned our ER chief of service has a fantastic apartment ;).
Now trying to figure out how to do my taxes. I don't think I'm doing something right cuz I keep getting it saying I'm making a negative operating loss. I think I may need to get a financial advisor, sigh.
Then we had our inservice. Have to say didn't study for it as much as I wanted to, but we'll see. .. 1st years generally don't pass, but the questions seemed manageable. Had a nice post inservice party! It's so nice when nearly all the residents and some attendings can be together. And we learned our ER chief of service has a fantastic apartment ;).
Now trying to figure out how to do my taxes. I don't think I'm doing something right cuz I keep getting it saying I'm making a negative operating loss. I think I may need to get a financial advisor, sigh.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Snow Snow Snow!
On the eve of our seemingly savior President's inauguration, I've never seen so much snow coming down as now. I'm not from a snow-shy state either, but walking home last night, so much snow caked on my head that it actually weighed me down!
Right now doing my medicine floors month in Valhalla at one of our sister hospitals. I will be so glad when it's done. Just not my cup of tea, and I never thought I'd say this, but I like the way the St. James's (Dublin) medicine teams run a lot more. I'd forgotten how on floors you never ever get out on time, doesn't matter whether you're in surgery or medicine, you can't possibly enjoy your life like that. At least with ER you know you end at such-and-such time and get definite days off. I've talked to many disgruntled people over the last few weeks, including the superstar residents, high-ranked surgeons...they definitely don't tell you this crap when you're a young doctor hopeful.
Although residency is tough on everyone and so many 12 hr. shifts in first year really kills your spirit, I'm so glad I'm in ER. There's fewer arrogant assholes. I wish patients in hospital could see what their residents have to go through and how what seems like a small simple task is actually the result of someone scurrying high and low, begging, yelling, crying to accomplish it. Then on top of that everything is complicated by the state of health care in this country, medicaid and medicare limiting doctor's options, etc. Makes me more tempted to become an ex-patriate again!
But aside from all that, I think I'm disgruntled because I'm lacking a creative outlet . You spend time doing all these extracurriculars and excelling in all these activities to make you a well-rounded person because that's what med schools and residency programs want (well you do too but you know what I mean). Then when you get into residency, all of a sudden all those extra things are taken away from you and your whole life is just medicine when you've gotten used to being able to do and balance everything. can't wait for more time to just enjoy other things.
I'm starting to realize that medicine is just a job like everything else, and although for me it's a more preferable, safe stable job than others, it's just acquiring a set of skills like a mechanic or electrician. I always thought that loving your job was to love your life, and that medicine was the only job that I could like, but now I want to spend all my free time not doing medicine! It could be worse, but am definitely longing for the day when I can feel balanced again.
We'll see what changes our new president can instigate. I'd definitely love the pressure to be relieved from the ERs.
Apart from all this medicine mumbo jumbo, have checked out a couple restaurants for NYC's winter restaurant week. Went to a quite nice cozy French place last night, and checking out a Scandanavian restaurant tonight! Woo! I don't know how but somehow have lost like 6 pounds ... by eating!
Right now doing my medicine floors month in Valhalla at one of our sister hospitals. I will be so glad when it's done. Just not my cup of tea, and I never thought I'd say this, but I like the way the St. James's (Dublin) medicine teams run a lot more. I'd forgotten how on floors you never ever get out on time, doesn't matter whether you're in surgery or medicine, you can't possibly enjoy your life like that. At least with ER you know you end at such-and-such time and get definite days off. I've talked to many disgruntled people over the last few weeks, including the superstar residents, high-ranked surgeons...they definitely don't tell you this crap when you're a young doctor hopeful.
Although residency is tough on everyone and so many 12 hr. shifts in first year really kills your spirit, I'm so glad I'm in ER. There's fewer arrogant assholes. I wish patients in hospital could see what their residents have to go through and how what seems like a small simple task is actually the result of someone scurrying high and low, begging, yelling, crying to accomplish it. Then on top of that everything is complicated by the state of health care in this country, medicaid and medicare limiting doctor's options, etc. Makes me more tempted to become an ex-patriate again!
But aside from all that, I think I'm disgruntled because I'm lacking a creative outlet . You spend time doing all these extracurriculars and excelling in all these activities to make you a well-rounded person because that's what med schools and residency programs want (well you do too but you know what I mean). Then when you get into residency, all of a sudden all those extra things are taken away from you and your whole life is just medicine when you've gotten used to being able to do and balance everything. can't wait for more time to just enjoy other things.
I'm starting to realize that medicine is just a job like everything else, and although for me it's a more preferable, safe stable job than others, it's just acquiring a set of skills like a mechanic or electrician. I always thought that loving your job was to love your life, and that medicine was the only job that I could like, but now I want to spend all my free time not doing medicine! It could be worse, but am definitely longing for the day when I can feel balanced again.
We'll see what changes our new president can instigate. I'd definitely love the pressure to be relieved from the ERs.
Apart from all this medicine mumbo jumbo, have checked out a couple restaurants for NYC's winter restaurant week. Went to a quite nice cozy French place last night, and checking out a Scandanavian restaurant tonight! Woo! I don't know how but somehow have lost like 6 pounds ... by eating!
Monday, December 29, 2008
heh.
I treated a patient today who got bitten by a squirrel. X saw a squirrel outside the house looking "in distress," and decided to take some vital signs on it. How on earth you take vital signs on a squirrel I have no idea, but it obviously didn't really work so well for X because all X got for it was a good CHOMP on the hand. While I was struggling very hard not to laugh at the image of near CPR on a squirrel, X supplied that X got far enough to determine that the poor squirrel was indeed in respiratory distress. Now, how high a squirrel's blood pressure should be or how fast a squirrel breathes is beyond my depth of knowledge. But I rewarded X with a Good Samaritan award from our hospital on the discharge paper!
You definitely see some strange things in this line of work!
Oh, I also learned today that "toast" means "gun." Y was mugged and reported that there was some toast involved on the assailant's part. Here I was thinking "Oh sure, ok there was a scuffle at the shop and some food fight was involved and somehow he got some toast." My attending even asked specifically if there was a gun involved and I was like "Oh not at all, only fists." Didn't I feel like an idiot when my attending questioned Y and came back to me and was like, "Um...did you know that "toast / belt / heater" means "gun?" I mean seriously come on, like that's intuitive. How am I supposed to know that?! Everyone's laughter (including my Y's and Y's family) followed me to the phone while I called NYPD.
You definitely see some strange things in this line of work!
Oh, I also learned today that "toast" means "gun." Y was mugged and reported that there was some toast involved on the assailant's part. Here I was thinking "Oh sure, ok there was a scuffle at the shop and some food fight was involved and somehow he got some toast." My attending even asked specifically if there was a gun involved and I was like "Oh not at all, only fists." Didn't I feel like an idiot when my attending questioned Y and came back to me and was like, "Um...did you know that "toast / belt / heater" means "gun?" I mean seriously come on, like that's intuitive. How am I supposed to know that?! Everyone's laughter (including my Y's and Y's family) followed me to the phone while I called NYPD.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
This holiday makes me wonder when I got the medicine bug and why couldn't I have chosen something simpler where I don't have to study and I can schedule more time off? :) . I know every doctor thinks about that multiple times in their careers, and it's gonna take me a little while to get the "yeah, this is the only thing for me" feeling back.
The first week of my holiday I spent in Dublin, visiting friends and attending an alumni dinner for my old rowing club. I stayed in the Hilton Hotel for the weekend which I'd recommend to anybody, and then for a few days after, stayed in some friends' apts. It was nice, was like I never left and I was free to do whatever I wanted (ie. some training, even sculled for a trip!) like the times before I started working. I ran and cycled around phoenix park which was just like old times, and phoenix park is much bigger than central park so it was nice to get back to that.
I really miss sports and being able to train as much as I used to. Definitely have a few squishier spots now that I want to get rid of, but doing 2-4 hours training a day is now not possible!
Then for the second week of holidays, one of my Irish friends and another good Norwegian friend (both through rowing!) came over to visit. The first night, went to a Knicks vs. Wizards game which was boring for the first half but much more exciting the second half, so I'm glad they got to experience the atmosphere of Madison Sq. Garden even though they were both horribly jetlagged.
The next day, did the NY Movie and Tv tour, which was interesting and informative, took us through most parts of NY, but I don't think any of us were that into it and it took a good 3.5 hours. Our finishing point was the Palace hotel, which we went into to look at the christmas decorations, and a guy there gave us free tickets to see this year's Gypsy reprisal! Great seats, was an interesting musical (not my favorite sondheim even though everyone raved about it) a little funny on the plot (but i'd never really seen/heard about it before), but I thought the acting was amazing, especially by Laura Benanti who transforms from a tomboy into this gorgeous burlesque dancer / stripper. Well she's won herself a new fan anyway!
Unfortunately, one of my friends became ill and we came back early after wandering Times Square a little (I love Times Square, all the lights! I wouldn't even want to see their electricity bills!). Two of us went to this lovely euro-caribbean restaurant near me and then slept off more jet lag. Up early the next morning to the Statue of Liberty which we felt we had to go to just to satisfy the tourist requirement, so now we've done it and we didn't bother with Ellis Island. Then shopping up 5th avenue! After playing in FAO Schwartz, we were starving so had a great burger at Mickey Mantle's. I don't think my friends had been in that kind of sports restaurant before!
Took my friends to see the Guggenheim (interesting exhibits), and one of them became museum'ed out fairly early so she took off for some shopping while the rest of us went to the Metropolitan museum. I'm not an art connoiseur but I definitely am not really a fan of the Dutch style painting. Perked up a bit when we got to the more modern sections, and then came across a fabulous exhibit of modern British prints (including rowing!) which we loved. Made a hasty bee-line for the exit, then wandered around Soho for a bit and the outskirts of chinatown, chilled in a nice Soho bar then walked in search of food to the west end where we found some dodgy steak outfit where the waitress couldn't describe the food to us. I found this hilarious, but then again I was drunk off two glasses of wine in the soho bar, so I couldn't talk.
After a lie in on wednesday, we returned to the theatre district to see Wicked, which is a fantastic production. Not a huge fan of the music (I must have an "older" musical music taste), but the story line, setting / props and dance were terrific! It made funny allusions to the wizard of oz and the plot / dialogue was quite clever. I'm sure it was amazingly fun to write the play and see it pan out on stage! I'd love to know how to do that! Then went up to the top of the Rockefeller center, which is a terrific view, a little more shopping and then to the Hudson Hotel for dinner (they do lovely steaks, and the dessert portions are enormous!). The rest of the night was a little dodgy, as we went to two bars on different sides of town but they weren't very club-y. A friend of mine joined us, as well as one of the more laid back attendings and some lads also on vacation who my Irish friend knew.
Thursday - Thanksgiving, hurrah! We stayed in bed the whole morning, didn't even watch any of the Macy's parade, had a bit of brunch and I went back to sleep while the two girls trudged through central park. Had Thanksgiving dinner at Tavern on the Green, which I was glad to go to as the decor was interesting / funky / a little tawdry?, but don't think I'll be going back there again. The queue for those who had reservations was 45 minutes! On the way out, i got waylaid by a lady who said I had terrific karma (what does that mean exactly?!) and gave me her business card, for some tarot / psychic thing. But perhaps it was true because the Chase 1 in 500 free worked to my advantage that night!
We chilled for a little, and then I thought it'd be a great idea to go to woodbury commons for some black friday midnight shopping. Well apparently, so did a million other people because traffic to there was nearly standstill for about 3 hours. It took us 4.5 hours in the car to get to this place and there's no where to turn around to go back! On a normal day would take 1 hour. So after getting there at 3:30 am, at least my friends got tons of shopping done and everyone came back wrecked, but happy. That is definitely something i will avoid in the future, I will pay higher prices like everyone else :).
After coming home at 9 am, we slept for a couple hours and back to 5th ave / madison ave for some further shopping (notice a theme here?). New York is absolutely amazing for shopping, you can basically find everything here! since being here, I have definitely contributed to the profit margins of Bed Bath and Beyond and well as Banana republic (I must like B's) I've spent so much it's ridiculous! and I still don't have all the christmas presents ready! From what I saw and the amount my friends got, america is not going into recession this Christmas at least! Then we had dinner at this absolutely fabulous westernized asian/fusion place called Phillipe's, which I am definitely going back to.
Unfortunately, the holiday came to a close and after some last minute shopping, my friends returned home with very full bags and emptier wallets. But we fit in some tourist attractions, sight-seeing, good restaurants, Broadway shows and a lot of shopping, so all-in-all a very productive trip! I wish I didn't have to work so I could just spend all my days going to see all the Broadway (and off-Broadway) shows, museums, wandering around central park and doing some training for once, but 'tis not to be. At least I'm in the city where everything happens, so maybe eventually!
Back to it tomorrow...dun dun dun....
The first week of my holiday I spent in Dublin, visiting friends and attending an alumni dinner for my old rowing club. I stayed in the Hilton Hotel for the weekend which I'd recommend to anybody, and then for a few days after, stayed in some friends' apts. It was nice, was like I never left and I was free to do whatever I wanted (ie. some training, even sculled for a trip!) like the times before I started working. I ran and cycled around phoenix park which was just like old times, and phoenix park is much bigger than central park so it was nice to get back to that.
I really miss sports and being able to train as much as I used to. Definitely have a few squishier spots now that I want to get rid of, but doing 2-4 hours training a day is now not possible!
Then for the second week of holidays, one of my Irish friends and another good Norwegian friend (both through rowing!) came over to visit. The first night, went to a Knicks vs. Wizards game which was boring for the first half but much more exciting the second half, so I'm glad they got to experience the atmosphere of Madison Sq. Garden even though they were both horribly jetlagged.
The next day, did the NY Movie and Tv tour, which was interesting and informative, took us through most parts of NY, but I don't think any of us were that into it and it took a good 3.5 hours. Our finishing point was the Palace hotel, which we went into to look at the christmas decorations, and a guy there gave us free tickets to see this year's Gypsy reprisal! Great seats, was an interesting musical (not my favorite sondheim even though everyone raved about it) a little funny on the plot (but i'd never really seen/heard about it before), but I thought the acting was amazing, especially by Laura Benanti who transforms from a tomboy into this gorgeous burlesque dancer / stripper. Well she's won herself a new fan anyway!
Unfortunately, one of my friends became ill and we came back early after wandering Times Square a little (I love Times Square, all the lights! I wouldn't even want to see their electricity bills!). Two of us went to this lovely euro-caribbean restaurant near me and then slept off more jet lag. Up early the next morning to the Statue of Liberty which we felt we had to go to just to satisfy the tourist requirement, so now we've done it and we didn't bother with Ellis Island. Then shopping up 5th avenue! After playing in FAO Schwartz, we were starving so had a great burger at Mickey Mantle's. I don't think my friends had been in that kind of sports restaurant before!
Took my friends to see the Guggenheim (interesting exhibits), and one of them became museum'ed out fairly early so she took off for some shopping while the rest of us went to the Metropolitan museum. I'm not an art connoiseur but I definitely am not really a fan of the Dutch style painting. Perked up a bit when we got to the more modern sections, and then came across a fabulous exhibit of modern British prints (including rowing!) which we loved. Made a hasty bee-line for the exit, then wandered around Soho for a bit and the outskirts of chinatown, chilled in a nice Soho bar then walked in search of food to the west end where we found some dodgy steak outfit where the waitress couldn't describe the food to us. I found this hilarious, but then again I was drunk off two glasses of wine in the soho bar, so I couldn't talk.
After a lie in on wednesday, we returned to the theatre district to see Wicked, which is a fantastic production. Not a huge fan of the music (I must have an "older" musical music taste), but the story line, setting / props and dance were terrific! It made funny allusions to the wizard of oz and the plot / dialogue was quite clever. I'm sure it was amazingly fun to write the play and see it pan out on stage! I'd love to know how to do that! Then went up to the top of the Rockefeller center, which is a terrific view, a little more shopping and then to the Hudson Hotel for dinner (they do lovely steaks, and the dessert portions are enormous!). The rest of the night was a little dodgy, as we went to two bars on different sides of town but they weren't very club-y. A friend of mine joined us, as well as one of the more laid back attendings and some lads also on vacation who my Irish friend knew.
Thursday - Thanksgiving, hurrah! We stayed in bed the whole morning, didn't even watch any of the Macy's parade, had a bit of brunch and I went back to sleep while the two girls trudged through central park. Had Thanksgiving dinner at Tavern on the Green, which I was glad to go to as the decor was interesting / funky / a little tawdry?, but don't think I'll be going back there again. The queue for those who had reservations was 45 minutes! On the way out, i got waylaid by a lady who said I had terrific karma (what does that mean exactly?!) and gave me her business card, for some tarot / psychic thing. But perhaps it was true because the Chase 1 in 500 free worked to my advantage that night!
We chilled for a little, and then I thought it'd be a great idea to go to woodbury commons for some black friday midnight shopping. Well apparently, so did a million other people because traffic to there was nearly standstill for about 3 hours. It took us 4.5 hours in the car to get to this place and there's no where to turn around to go back! On a normal day would take 1 hour. So after getting there at 3:30 am, at least my friends got tons of shopping done and everyone came back wrecked, but happy. That is definitely something i will avoid in the future, I will pay higher prices like everyone else :).
After coming home at 9 am, we slept for a couple hours and back to 5th ave / madison ave for some further shopping (notice a theme here?). New York is absolutely amazing for shopping, you can basically find everything here! since being here, I have definitely contributed to the profit margins of Bed Bath and Beyond and well as Banana republic (I must like B's) I've spent so much it's ridiculous! and I still don't have all the christmas presents ready! From what I saw and the amount my friends got, america is not going into recession this Christmas at least! Then we had dinner at this absolutely fabulous westernized asian/fusion place called Phillipe's, which I am definitely going back to.
Unfortunately, the holiday came to a close and after some last minute shopping, my friends returned home with very full bags and emptier wallets. But we fit in some tourist attractions, sight-seeing, good restaurants, Broadway shows and a lot of shopping, so all-in-all a very productive trip! I wish I didn't have to work so I could just spend all my days going to see all the Broadway (and off-Broadway) shows, museums, wandering around central park and doing some training for once, but 'tis not to be. At least I'm in the city where everything happens, so maybe eventually!
Back to it tomorrow...dun dun dun....
Nuts!
I spent the first two weeks of November at in Harlem for my first rotation there. That place gets nuts! The first day wasn't actually too bad, as it was the day of the NYC Marathon and surprisingly, we didn't get that many patients.
However, that was the only quiet day. But even though it got hectic, most attendings took everything in stride and handled the patient load well. They've got some people who can run an ED well, and it makes such a difference. They have a sicker population, which was interesting. Did a few NG lavages which became a funny situation, as they recently got a supply of new equipment and it took ages to try to figure out how to get suction, so we're running through all different scenarios while this guy has a tube hanging out his nose.
I had an interesting patient who was perfectly lovely except for seeing demons / creatures on the walls. I actually became irritated at the attendant who kept repeating "the pt's crazy, everyone knows it, the family knows it, just crazy!" But the patient was very with it except for the seeing "evil," poor person. I hope they found a cause.
My last shift was absolutely pressing panic buttons. All was grand until about mid-morning when all of a sudden, sick patients were coming in at the same time. I was looking after a patient who I realized could be very pausibly having a brain bleed as I was interviewing him/her, and the attending at the time (who I get along well with and said some nice things about me) also had a couple sickies and as we were making plans, the CT machine went down. So then I spent about 3 hours trying to transfer them to another facility to have a CT, meanwhile checking every 5 minutes to see whether my possible brain bleed was still stable and the attending and I debating on whether we should do the LP or not without a confirmed bleed. We ended up doing the lumbar puncture with no complications, to our great relief.
And then I dashed home to hop on a plane to Dublin for the beginning of my holiday!
However, that was the only quiet day. But even though it got hectic, most attendings took everything in stride and handled the patient load well. They've got some people who can run an ED well, and it makes such a difference. They have a sicker population, which was interesting. Did a few NG lavages which became a funny situation, as they recently got a supply of new equipment and it took ages to try to figure out how to get suction, so we're running through all different scenarios while this guy has a tube hanging out his nose.
I had an interesting patient who was perfectly lovely except for seeing demons / creatures on the walls. I actually became irritated at the attendant who kept repeating "the pt's crazy, everyone knows it, the family knows it, just crazy!" But the patient was very with it except for the seeing "evil," poor person. I hope they found a cause.
My last shift was absolutely pressing panic buttons. All was grand until about mid-morning when all of a sudden, sick patients were coming in at the same time. I was looking after a patient who I realized could be very pausibly having a brain bleed as I was interviewing him/her, and the attending at the time (who I get along well with and said some nice things about me) also had a couple sickies and as we were making plans, the CT machine went down. So then I spent about 3 hours trying to transfer them to another facility to have a CT, meanwhile checking every 5 minutes to see whether my possible brain bleed was still stable and the attending and I debating on whether we should do the LP or not without a confirmed bleed. We ended up doing the lumbar puncture with no complications, to our great relief.
And then I dashed home to hop on a plane to Dublin for the beginning of my holiday!
I don't want to do medicine anymore!
... just kidding, but I'm just finished two weeks of holidays and the thoughts of going back to work are depressing!
In October, I was doing ER at my home hospital, which can be not-so-pleasant for a number of reasons. First, I need to do a lot more reading and studying because there are some areas I don't feel very comfortable in, but having time to do said studying is proving impossible since first years are assigned 20 shifts a month. A lot of your "days off" are actually spent trying to recover from night shift before you have to switch schedules again. I don't mind shiftwork, but it can make it difficult to plan things and use your time as effectively as if you had a patterned week.
Also, I'm finding myself beginning to get cynical, especially with regards to my home hospital and society in general. I think it's a bit scary, especially as I'm only 5 months into residency. The patient population here I find can be a little irritating. Probably a lot of things I write are going to be quite un-PC, but c'est la vie. I am constantly amazed by the number of people who do nothing to help themselves. This varies from refusal to learn English even after being in this country for a number of years (then wondering why doctors have no clue what they're trying to say, even with those damn interpreter phones which I am startin to hate) to coming in with severe asthma exacerbations because they ran out of medications 2 weeks ago (why they hell didn't you see your doctor 2 weeks ago and save yourself this mess?!) to foul-smelling nearly gangrenous cellulitic legs which are going to need amputation but could have been saved had they presented when it first started. When asked why, all you get is a shrug of the shoulders and a non-committal "I dunno." I feel we should make billboards telling the general public that medicine is not a magic wand, there are no quick fixes and we can't make their serious conditions disappear without any consequences.
Also, a hell of a lot of people flood the EDs for no reason. What part of "emergency" do people not understand? The cold that started yesterday does not warrant a visit! No, we do not give medicine to everybody! Your papercut is not a fucking emergency! Then they start complaining about the long waits or the fact that we aren't "doing" anything because they were expecting some pill. Wish we could hand out placebo pills. Wish we could turn people away at the door for things that do not need to be seen. And to top it off, the hospital gives free subway cards to patients on request, so some even make up conditions just to get the card! I just really can't stand it that these people are getting free healthcare and are the most ungrateful people I have seen, looking for the next free thing they can get from the hospital and complaining while they do so.
My friends know that one of the things I value most in people is if they treat others well, have a bit of ambition and put a little effort in to achieve their goals. The exact opposite is what I see on a daily basis and it's grating to constantly see that society and have words fall on deaf ears. Some of it is miscommunication between doctors and patients, but at the same time, we cannot make people look after their own health / life.
Anyway, when the free emergency healthcare system works for patients who actually need it, it is very rewarding. I estimate that happens about 60% of the time and 40% was probably preventable
In October, I was doing ER at my home hospital, which can be not-so-pleasant for a number of reasons. First, I need to do a lot more reading and studying because there are some areas I don't feel very comfortable in, but having time to do said studying is proving impossible since first years are assigned 20 shifts a month. A lot of your "days off" are actually spent trying to recover from night shift before you have to switch schedules again. I don't mind shiftwork, but it can make it difficult to plan things and use your time as effectively as if you had a patterned week.
Also, I'm finding myself beginning to get cynical, especially with regards to my home hospital and society in general. I think it's a bit scary, especially as I'm only 5 months into residency. The patient population here I find can be a little irritating. Probably a lot of things I write are going to be quite un-PC, but c'est la vie. I am constantly amazed by the number of people who do nothing to help themselves. This varies from refusal to learn English even after being in this country for a number of years (then wondering why doctors have no clue what they're trying to say, even with those damn interpreter phones which I am startin to hate) to coming in with severe asthma exacerbations because they ran out of medications 2 weeks ago (why they hell didn't you see your doctor 2 weeks ago and save yourself this mess?!) to foul-smelling nearly gangrenous cellulitic legs which are going to need amputation but could have been saved had they presented when it first started. When asked why, all you get is a shrug of the shoulders and a non-committal "I dunno." I feel we should make billboards telling the general public that medicine is not a magic wand, there are no quick fixes and we can't make their serious conditions disappear without any consequences.
Also, a hell of a lot of people flood the EDs for no reason. What part of "emergency" do people not understand? The cold that started yesterday does not warrant a visit! No, we do not give medicine to everybody! Your papercut is not a fucking emergency! Then they start complaining about the long waits or the fact that we aren't "doing" anything because they were expecting some pill. Wish we could hand out placebo pills. Wish we could turn people away at the door for things that do not need to be seen. And to top it off, the hospital gives free subway cards to patients on request, so some even make up conditions just to get the card! I just really can't stand it that these people are getting free healthcare and are the most ungrateful people I have seen, looking for the next free thing they can get from the hospital and complaining while they do so.
My friends know that one of the things I value most in people is if they treat others well, have a bit of ambition and put a little effort in to achieve their goals. The exact opposite is what I see on a daily basis and it's grating to constantly see that society and have words fall on deaf ears. Some of it is miscommunication between doctors and patients, but at the same time, we cannot make people look after their own health / life.
Anyway, when the free emergency healthcare system works for patients who actually need it, it is very rewarding. I estimate that happens about 60% of the time and 40% was probably preventable
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Things are better and brighter!
Mainly because I think I rid myself mostly of the roach problem :). I still see a couple sometimes, but I figure I just have to fog every once in awhile and it'll be ok.
So I'm now two rotations down, but I fear they were my easiest ones!
August was Peds ER which I surprisingly found myself enjoying, since as a student I held kids out at arms length and didn't want them near me! But I had fun for the most part, except when asked to stay 1.5 hours overtime to "supervise" the other peds residents doing lacs (how f-in ridiculous! just because I'm 2 months into ER does not mean I'm expert at lacs, and why the hell can't the more senior residents or the attending supervise?!). And also when playing mind games with some of the peds residents who get lazy and try not to see any patients and shove it on you, or when they don't manage ER cases properly. Once, I actually shouted at one of the residents, took 3 of his cases from him and told him which case to take, then took another 2 at the same time and cleared the ED in an hour after that. The attending loved it, but I was like "That is NOT my job, that's YOURS." Of course I didn't say that :). I was lucky with nurses too cuz one of them would shout publically, "You're not to take that case, there are other people SUPPOSEDLY working here too!" hehehehe!
But I'm just venting. Most of my frustrating with peds was working with my co-workers, not the actual cases coming in. It's nice and chilled in our peds ED although it can get really hectic at times. Still, it's got a more uplifting feel than our adult ED, and I don't know why that is. Maybe because you can have a quicker flow and faster dispositions in peds. I really enjoyed playing with the kids and using little tricks to get them to respond to you. It's especially rewarding when they wrap their cute little arms around your legs to give you a hug afterwards.
Then in September, I had CCU at one of our peripheral hospitals. That was pretty chill too with downtime during the day (most days). The only problem is that it's a long commute. At least 40 minutes in the car, about 2 hours by public transport. Fortunately I was able to grab a lift from a friend of mine (who was late more often than not, heh!) but I was getting up at 5:30 to be there for 7, and when I had to get public transport, I got up at 4:30 and wouldn't get home til 9. The first couple weeks were tough because I didn't really know my job description and didn't seem to be having any responsibility, plus learning an outdated computer system. But definitely the last two weeks I could see my input into the team and pre-empt orders, etc. I learned a bit, but I'm not sure how much was relevant to my own training. Some on pressure support, swan-ganz which i still need to read on, but what was really cool was learning how to do a bedside Echo.
Anyway, back to ER at my home city hospital and I've got a fairly good schedule - mix of nights, peds, etc. And no getting up ass early and leaving really late! Hopefully I'll now have more time for gym and study. I just bought a new bike too so I can't wait to have a go in central park!
Friday, August 29, 2008
This is getting ridiculous.
Ok, call me naive. I had no idea NYC and roaches were synonymous. This is probably the worst place I have ever lived, but having said that, it's still liveable - except for the F_IN ROACHES! Oh, we've laughed, we've cried about them but now i'm starting to get really irritated.
So my hospital provides housing, which is great - a dorm style building (individual rooms are only 9' x 13' though) that's right across the hospital, and the location itself is convenient to the subway station and bus lines. Laundry machines on each floor, NO BILLS (except internet / cable which is contracted out) which is very useful for those of us keeping the AC and lights on 24/7 trying to deter the roaches, and hospital police for the front-doormen. Gym downstairs too, although it's very bare. We're hoping to build it up. And, "rent" is only like 300 a month, which is subsidized by my program / hospital.
However, the roaches. It's an old building and believe it or not, some people either through laziness, tolerance or religious opposition, DON'T KILL THEM! SO then they infest other people's rooms, they're in the walls, when I walk into the communal "kitchen" sometimes there's like 5-6 scurrying away from me and sometimes when I open the communal microwave, they scuttle out too!! I mean, GROSS!
I have become completely roach-obsessed. I spent all of today cleaning every single item I own, taking out the drawers and spraying, buying two tubes of caulk and caulking every crack I can find, I have roach bait everywhere. And I thought I was getting control of them until I saw one pregnant one yesterday and one large pregnant one today. The little ones I don't mind. The big ones I really do mind. My neighbor must not be killing them.
It's becoming a serious problem, I can't study cuz I look up, see one then spend 1 second killing it and 9 minutes cleaning the area. I can't sleep cuz I keep imagining them crawling on me when I sleep (although that has never happened, they actually don't go near my bed but one of my friends said he woke up to find 3 of them staring at him and he subsequently screamed like a girl). You can actually hear people screaming in the hallway if they find a particularly gross looking one.
I wish the administration would exterminate the whole building, but as far as I know, they only spray individual rooms. I hope all these fumes and stuff build up my immune system and not weaken it. I've already gotten 2 bad colds in the last two months.
I was getting so mad the other day because in my spoiled mindset, I was like "I paid for 9 years of high quality education, I worked damn hard to become a doctor, so why am I now living in a shithole that is the smallest hole I have ever lived in?" I was considering moving out...until I realized that unless you rent those really expensive apts in manhattan, it's a problem everywhere in the city. And some apts get like dead rats and crap too.
Sigh. I was considering staying here after residency. Maybe if I could afford one of those luxury apts, I will. Who knows. sheesh. I'm bombing / fogging my room tomorrow. I hope to god it works.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
More from me...
Enough about work! I haven't had much time to go out and explore but will definitely in the next coming months!
July 4th weekend,sky-trammed to Roosevelt Island to have a look, and saw my dorm / hospital from the East River side, then walked along the promenade next to the FDR "highway" to watch the Macy's parade. Frankly, unless you're right at the spot, it's probably better on TV but I may be saying that cuz it was pissing rain and we were all getting wet.
Then the first weekend of August, went back home for my 10 year high school reunion, which was a lot of fun! The bar in the beginning helped, but it was good fun catching up with everyone. No one's really changed that much even though so much in everyone's individual life has. But basically, those who wanted to be doctors in high school are, and so are those who wanted to be lawyers, teachers, etc. A few people are married with kids and stuff, but those just seem like details.
Otherwise, I've been spending my free time watching the Olympics, going to the gym, catching up on sleep, arranging my room (I still need to arrange rug / carpets) and trying to get it roach-free which I think may finally be working after buying every product available, and lastly...studying. heh. I figure once the Olympics are over, I'll be doing more reading - that's what I tell myself anyway. Besides the rug(s), the last things I need to do are hang my pictures / photos, maybe wall mount my tv, and I'm dying to buy a bike once I find a place to lock it.
Anyway, enough mickey mouse stuff. Hopefully I'll have more exciting things to post soon!
Hello from the peds ER! I'm doing my pediatric emergency month right now, and I'm really enjoying myself. I thought I'd hate it because kids aren't my thing, but surprisingly I've found it a joy to work with them. They can be really cute and I'm finding that I can build a good rapport with them and their parents...well, most of the time anyway. Such a change from my student days where I was distancing myself from babies at arms' length! And the people I'm working with (attendings, most students, the nurses) are great fun to be around.
The only thing I don't like is doing procedures (including bloods) on them because obviously they don't like it and kick and scream as soon as they see you coming, and it's hard for parents to watch. But c'est la vie, has to be done. The last day I got an IV in a 5 month old on my first try and nearly whooped with joy. I've done a few laceration repairs (always with shaky hands, those kids are so jumpy) and a couple foreign body removals (ie. beads stuck up noses).
Another thing that's really difficult is when something bad happens. Today, a child who was seen yesterday (on my day off) and admitted to the hospital took a turn for the worse and passed away. It really upset the staff because the child came into the ED communicating well and fairly stable on admission, but started deteriorating soon after. As always, there is reflection and discussion about appropriate management, as well as quite a few tears and empathy for those poor parents. It put a damper on things but then you have to focus on the kids currently in the ED and work resumes again. I've worked in MICU before where things are sad and serious, but there's just a lot more gravity when a child is affected.
Anyway, after I wrote last, we had 2 weeks of ER orientation which were great - I finally understand how to read ECGs better, a smidge about how to read ultrasounds (I still need a lot of practice) and refreshed some facts in the far depths of my memory. I'm always going to have to be studying, but still trying to settle in a bit which is a) very expensive and b) very time-consuming! I must have contributed to half of Bed Bath and Beyond's profit share this month!
The last two weeks of July we did shifts in the adult ED and a couple shifts in the peds ED. I was hoping it'd be smooth transition, but I think all of us got caught trying to get used to the system. The first week was frustrating, asking everyone how to order things on the computer which really slowed us down, forgetting to ask things in the history and having to go back to ask, forgetting answers to questions I knew way back when while getting pimped (lightly, there's no heavy pimping that goes on here that I've seen) but should definitely know (I totally forgot about anion gap / electrolyte stuff in hyperglycemia), etc. But I think we've gotten into the groove of things now and developed some rapport with the people we work with.
I like our peds ED because you see a greater volume of "easier" patients so I've gotten practice with getting histories quickly and doing examinations quickly, as well as multi-tasking because I'm also the most senior person there in the mornings so I take all the students' presentations and my work quadruples in like 20 minutes if it's busy. The peds ED can get really crowded and busy too, which is a useful experience to have when people are shouting all over the place to hear each other and everyone's hurrying everywhere and things are falling onto the floor and babies are screaming, etc.
The only thing I wish we had more of us a little direct supervision. Not that I want hand holding, but sometimes...you're seriously thrown into things without a) having done it before or b) knowing the exact specifics of how to do it and c) without someone watching you. Talk about knowing some theory, trying to apply it practically and praying to God you don't F__ up. I can understand how it's useful to be thrown into it, and the situations I've dealt with aren't that serious, but talk about adrenaline pumping. And not only that, sometimes I find myself teaching / supervising people doing things when I haven't even done it myself. You seriously take the bull by the horns, grit your teeth and just do it. Everyone is very nice and offers help, but it comes more in verbal advice rather than direct supervision. This is how it works in a busy system that does not have as much staffing as other places might...and you know, it has worked for now and made me a lot more confident. But I'll keep praying!
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
And it begins....!
Today is June 30th, the last day of rest before the nervously anticipated universal first day of a physician's year. That sounds a bit too dramatic for how I actually feel, which is fairly calm. Definitely just completing a year of clinical work gives me some degree of confidence, as well as the fact that we're not really working our first two weeks (we have ER orientation). I think a couple of the others are nervous though. There's a few things I'm going to have to adjust to, but they're small - drug names, American units vs. metric, etc. But all in all, I'm mainly excited about embarking on the ER journey. Let's hope it's the right one!
The last two weeks have been quite busy. I landed on June 15th and stayed in cheap hotel, which was decent but a pain in the ass to lug all the luggage to. Organization with my program is a bit lacking, but hey, what's new? Anyway, I had a bit of a scare with the living situation, which got sorted. We live in heavily subsidized dorm accomodation directly across the hospital. It's convenient, but the rooms are quite small and you share a bathroom/kitchen. That's not great, but honestly...how much time do I really spend in either?
June 16th, a week of general orientation began, which was really boring. Signing all these papers to get registered with human resources, not understanding a single thing about tax papers, not understanding a single thing about signing up for benefits like retirement packages and insurance, etc. I mean, way to make doctors feel stupid. I should have gotten like an MBA or something before coming here! Anyway, it was really funny cuz all of us ER people are alike. We all skipped multiple things, and would find the whole ER table in the hospital doing other things. On the last day, there was this cultural competency session on for hours and I was like "are you actually serious?!" and skipped. Maybe that's what doing a clinical year did for me - made me better at not sitting through crap!
Last week, everyone was doing their courses (ACLS, PALS, etc.) but i've already done them so I got to go home and see the parents and pick up some of the stuff I'd shipped home. Caught up on movies and got to see the human bodies exhibit at the museum which has been globally popular and somewhat controversial. It was interesting, but since we've done anatomy, it was like "been there, done that" but I could see how "lay" people would find it really cool. The dissections were very clean and neat, must have taken months to get them that good. had a small nightmare trying to fly back to new york with my flight plan diverted like 3 times. Ended up landing in laguardia, which was awesome because we flew over central park (nice view!) and I think I spotted my hospital and apt. tower!
Have spent ooodles of money trying to make my room space-efficient. When I got here, the room was a dump. Dirty floor, crap in the sink...the first place I headed was to buy cleaning equipment. The furniture sucked - old metal rusting bed frame and desk, with a really cracked plastic mattress. Anyway, now I've bought this awesome futon bunk bed which is brilliant, a nice 22 inch flat screen tv, and rugs so I don't have to look at the floor. Of course, I swiffer wetjetted the floor a million times before putting the rugs down. I'm going to have the desk removed and just put in some nice shelves, and perhaps a laptop stand so I can work from my futon. Cable guy came and installed internet, so I've made the room wireless - no long cables. And I still have to install my fridge and microwave, bought a dvd recorder and going to get a printer! So glad I still have euro paychecks coming in!! I figure an investment is in order if I'm going to be here 3 years, and why not, if I've got the money?
Anyway, I can't wait for visitors, so if you're in the area, give me a shout!
Watch this space and I'll hopefully update the ER journey frequently...beginning tomorrow!
The last two weeks have been quite busy. I landed on June 15th and stayed in cheap hotel, which was decent but a pain in the ass to lug all the luggage to. Organization with my program is a bit lacking, but hey, what's new? Anyway, I had a bit of a scare with the living situation, which got sorted. We live in heavily subsidized dorm accomodation directly across the hospital. It's convenient, but the rooms are quite small and you share a bathroom/kitchen. That's not great, but honestly...how much time do I really spend in either?
June 16th, a week of general orientation began, which was really boring. Signing all these papers to get registered with human resources, not understanding a single thing about tax papers, not understanding a single thing about signing up for benefits like retirement packages and insurance, etc. I mean, way to make doctors feel stupid. I should have gotten like an MBA or something before coming here! Anyway, it was really funny cuz all of us ER people are alike. We all skipped multiple things, and would find the whole ER table in the hospital doing other things. On the last day, there was this cultural competency session on for hours and I was like "are you actually serious?!" and skipped. Maybe that's what doing a clinical year did for me - made me better at not sitting through crap!
Last week, everyone was doing their courses (ACLS, PALS, etc.) but i've already done them so I got to go home and see the parents and pick up some of the stuff I'd shipped home. Caught up on movies and got to see the human bodies exhibit at the museum which has been globally popular and somewhat controversial. It was interesting, but since we've done anatomy, it was like "been there, done that" but I could see how "lay" people would find it really cool. The dissections were very clean and neat, must have taken months to get them that good. had a small nightmare trying to fly back to new york with my flight plan diverted like 3 times. Ended up landing in laguardia, which was awesome because we flew over central park (nice view!) and I think I spotted my hospital and apt. tower!
Have spent ooodles of money trying to make my room space-efficient. When I got here, the room was a dump. Dirty floor, crap in the sink...the first place I headed was to buy cleaning equipment. The furniture sucked - old metal rusting bed frame and desk, with a really cracked plastic mattress. Anyway, now I've bought this awesome futon bunk bed which is brilliant, a nice 22 inch flat screen tv, and rugs so I don't have to look at the floor. Of course, I swiffer wetjetted the floor a million times before putting the rugs down. I'm going to have the desk removed and just put in some nice shelves, and perhaps a laptop stand so I can work from my futon. Cable guy came and installed internet, so I've made the room wireless - no long cables. And I still have to install my fridge and microwave, bought a dvd recorder and going to get a printer! So glad I still have euro paychecks coming in!! I figure an investment is in order if I'm going to be here 3 years, and why not, if I've got the money?
Anyway, I can't wait for visitors, so if you're in the area, give me a shout!
Watch this space and I'll hopefully update the ER journey frequently...beginning tomorrow!
NO MORE SCUT!!!
Whether you're just beginning or internship or thanking god you've finished internship and moving on to senior positions, Good Luck! DOWN WITH SCUT! is all I have to say.
The last several weeks have been a whirlwind. It's weird to think that just two weekends ago, I was in Dublin, having some very boozy going-away celebrations. My very last call was June 3rd and for some funny reason, the American interns were all on together. Cheesy, but i took photos on call, just to remember what it was like. It's great not ever having to do call ever again, I absolutely hate all the inefficiency and incompentency shenanigans you have to deal with, and not to mention that call hours there are uncapped and admissions are uncapped. Can you tell I'm very happy not to have to repeat internship?!
Anyway, weather was lovely and I spent my last couple weekends in Dublin at rowing things and bbq's. Had a great time at Metro regatta in the sun, talking to loads of people I haven't seen in awhile and won't see in awhile. Then went out and had a fantastic rowing night out, that's something I'll really miss. Unluckily for me, met a hot boy, which is the typical leaving story, but cest la vie! Had a hungover bbq the next day, I love those spontaneous things, and Paulie did the typical man job of trying those disposable bbq's which didn't work. I had leftover burgers for 2 weeks! The next weekend, went up to Queens for the Queens vs. Trinity race, and was in the launch watching the races and had a fabulous time - it's great to enjoy the social rowing scene. Last bastion of British aristocracy and all.
My last weekend was a DULBC alumni reception (small) that was pleasant, bought way too much wine and cheese but who's complaining! And then dashed off to the SJH hospital ball for a last drunken medic night. Had a great time, but was definitely sad at the end and ended up bawling for a little while. Then dashed home, slept for 1.5 hours and then off to the airport to whisk away to NYC!
I had mixed feelings about coming. On one hand, I really wanted to get out of SJH, even though I really like that hospital. Enough was enough though. On the other hand, I really like european life and the way friendships are formed there, and I really didn't want to leave my close friends. Coming to NYC was the best thing for my career, but I was afraid that I wouldn't adjust well or like having to come back to US thinking and corniness. But now that I have, my wariness was unjustified and I'm having a great time. I really like it here and the people in my program seem great, and... NO MORE SCUT!!!! well...not as much anyway!
The last several weeks have been a whirlwind. It's weird to think that just two weekends ago, I was in Dublin, having some very boozy going-away celebrations. My very last call was June 3rd and for some funny reason, the American interns were all on together. Cheesy, but i took photos on call, just to remember what it was like. It's great not ever having to do call ever again, I absolutely hate all the inefficiency and incompentency shenanigans you have to deal with, and not to mention that call hours there are uncapped and admissions are uncapped. Can you tell I'm very happy not to have to repeat internship?!
Anyway, weather was lovely and I spent my last couple weekends in Dublin at rowing things and bbq's. Had a great time at Metro regatta in the sun, talking to loads of people I haven't seen in awhile and won't see in awhile. Then went out and had a fantastic rowing night out, that's something I'll really miss. Unluckily for me, met a hot boy, which is the typical leaving story, but cest la vie! Had a hungover bbq the next day, I love those spontaneous things, and Paulie did the typical man job of trying those disposable bbq's which didn't work. I had leftover burgers for 2 weeks! The next weekend, went up to Queens for the Queens vs. Trinity race, and was in the launch watching the races and had a fabulous time - it's great to enjoy the social rowing scene. Last bastion of British aristocracy and all.
My last weekend was a DULBC alumni reception (small) that was pleasant, bought way too much wine and cheese but who's complaining! And then dashed off to the SJH hospital ball for a last drunken medic night. Had a great time, but was definitely sad at the end and ended up bawling for a little while. Then dashed home, slept for 1.5 hours and then off to the airport to whisk away to NYC!
I had mixed feelings about coming. On one hand, I really wanted to get out of SJH, even though I really like that hospital. Enough was enough though. On the other hand, I really like european life and the way friendships are formed there, and I really didn't want to leave my close friends. Coming to NYC was the best thing for my career, but I was afraid that I wouldn't adjust well or like having to come back to US thinking and corniness. But now that I have, my wariness was unjustified and I'm having a great time. I really like it here and the people in my program seem great, and... NO MORE SCUT!!!! well...not as much anyway!
Sunday, May 04, 2008
My last rotation of formal intern year is awesome. General Medicine with a super team that's really efficient. It's great - I'm busier than my last rotation and I get to leave earlier. We're usually always out by 5 and when we're not busy, we take turns who goes for half days. Have gotten a couple interesting cases (the most recent one of an infected fluid-filled emphysematous bulla in a crack cocaine user) and have a decent level of autonomy. I'm really glad I'm ending with a good one.
Call can be really brutal though so I'm soooo counting them down. There was a saturday in April that was absolutely horrendous, o2 desats all over the place with neither myself or my partner going to bed and staying late on sunday while the intern coming on was waiting for his locum partner. Yesterday was ok, got to bed at 3:30 after an aspiration pneumonia with bad desat and a DKA that wasn't picked up in the A&E. I then wasted the rest of this gorgeous day sleeping. I'm so glad I'm going into a 3 year program and don't have to repeat intern year!
I actually found myself at a loss for words last night when a nurse asked me, "Would it not be better for both of you to be carrying your own bleeps instead of switching?" I was like "No, because then both people would be up for 24+ hours with no break since we only take like 30 min for lunch and dinner instead of us swapping so that we can each get 4 hours of sleep." She really didn't understand it. I was like "Would YOU like to be working for 24-30 hours? would YOU like to work 2 of your mere 12 hour shifts back-to-back?" Maybe this is why doctors and nurses don't get along because some really lack logic or the ability to think critically. I'm going to get shot for saying that but I'm generally nice to everyone and this inability of people to think logically or outside their own box really annoys me. There are fantastic nurses out there who I really like but for every one of them, there's like 5 dumbass/lazy ones who boil your blood on a daily basis.
Anyway, the day job is great and the free time has let me get all my stuff ready for going to NY. The number of forms you have to fill out is unbelievable. And then you have to do all the stuff for NY medical licensing and when you're reading through one form then you figure out you have to apply for something else and it costs like a grand! And you have to keep going back to the medical school office for your diplomas/transcripts/deans letters/etc. Anyway, I think it's mainly all sorted now. Hopefully everything's all set!
So I leave June 15th and I've already had to say good bye to one of my best friends, which was sad and weird. She just fininshed medical school and is now galavanting through south america. It is strange moving away from people I see virtually every single day and I'm sure I'll be making a lot of long-distance phone calls. Hopefully coming back once or twice next year (obviously around rowing events!).
Call can be really brutal though so I'm soooo counting them down. There was a saturday in April that was absolutely horrendous, o2 desats all over the place with neither myself or my partner going to bed and staying late on sunday while the intern coming on was waiting for his locum partner. Yesterday was ok, got to bed at 3:30 after an aspiration pneumonia with bad desat and a DKA that wasn't picked up in the A&E. I then wasted the rest of this gorgeous day sleeping. I'm so glad I'm going into a 3 year program and don't have to repeat intern year!
I actually found myself at a loss for words last night when a nurse asked me, "Would it not be better for both of you to be carrying your own bleeps instead of switching?" I was like "No, because then both people would be up for 24+ hours with no break since we only take like 30 min for lunch and dinner instead of us swapping so that we can each get 4 hours of sleep." She really didn't understand it. I was like "Would YOU like to be working for 24-30 hours? would YOU like to work 2 of your mere 12 hour shifts back-to-back?" Maybe this is why doctors and nurses don't get along because some really lack logic or the ability to think critically. I'm going to get shot for saying that but I'm generally nice to everyone and this inability of people to think logically or outside their own box really annoys me. There are fantastic nurses out there who I really like but for every one of them, there's like 5 dumbass/lazy ones who boil your blood on a daily basis.
Anyway, the day job is great and the free time has let me get all my stuff ready for going to NY. The number of forms you have to fill out is unbelievable. And then you have to do all the stuff for NY medical licensing and when you're reading through one form then you figure out you have to apply for something else and it costs like a grand! And you have to keep going back to the medical school office for your diplomas/transcripts/deans letters/etc. Anyway, I think it's mainly all sorted now. Hopefully everything's all set!
So I leave June 15th and I've already had to say good bye to one of my best friends, which was sad and weird. She just fininshed medical school and is now galavanting through south america. It is strange moving away from people I see virtually every single day and I'm sure I'll be making a lot of long-distance phone calls. Hopefully coming back once or twice next year (obviously around rowing events!).
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