I don't want to do medicine anymore!

... just kidding, but I'm just finished two weeks of holidays and the thoughts of going back to work are depressing!

In October, I was doing ER at my home hospital, which can be not-so-pleasant for a number of reasons. First, I need to do a lot more reading and studying because there are some areas I don't feel very comfortable in, but having time to do said studying is proving impossible since first years are assigned 20 shifts a month. A lot of your "days off" are actually spent trying to recover from night shift before you have to switch schedules again. I don't mind shiftwork, but it can make it difficult to plan things and use your time as effectively as if you had a patterned week.

Also, I'm finding myself beginning to get cynical, especially with regards to my home hospital and society in general. I think it's a bit scary, especially as I'm only 5 months into residency. The patient population here I find can be a little irritating. Probably a lot of things I write are going to be quite un-PC, but c'est la vie. I am constantly amazed by the number of people who do nothing to help themselves. This varies from refusal to learn English even after being in this country for a number of years (then wondering why doctors have no clue what they're trying to say, even with those damn interpreter phones which I am startin to hate) to coming in with severe asthma exacerbations because they ran out of medications 2 weeks ago (why they hell didn't you see your doctor 2 weeks ago and save yourself this mess?!) to foul-smelling nearly gangrenous cellulitic legs which are going to need amputation but could have been saved had they presented when it first started. When asked why, all you get is a shrug of the shoulders and a non-committal "I dunno." I feel we should make billboards telling the general public that medicine is not a magic wand, there are no quick fixes and we can't make their serious conditions disappear without any consequences.

Also, a hell of a lot of people flood the EDs for no reason. What part of "emergency" do people not understand? The cold that started yesterday does not warrant a visit! No, we do not give medicine to everybody! Your papercut is not a fucking emergency! Then they start complaining about the long waits or the fact that we aren't "doing" anything because they were expecting some pill. Wish we could hand out placebo pills. Wish we could turn people away at the door for things that do not need to be seen. And to top it off, the hospital gives free subway cards to patients on request, so some even make up conditions just to get the card! I just really can't stand it that these people are getting free healthcare and are the most ungrateful people I have seen, looking for the next free thing they can get from the hospital and complaining while they do so.

My friends know that one of the things I value most in people is if they treat others well, have a bit of ambition and put a little effort in to achieve their goals. The exact opposite is what I see on a daily basis and it's grating to constantly see that society and have words fall on deaf ears. Some of it is miscommunication between doctors and patients, but at the same time, we cannot make people look after their own health / life.

Anyway, when the free emergency healthcare system works for patients who actually need it, it is very rewarding. I estimate that happens about 60% of the time and 40% was probably preventable